Real Attraction, Not Drunk Girls
September 6, 2007 | Leave a Comment
One of the biggest problems with this field are that innocent guys are taken in by ILLUSIONS.
Such as the whole idea of the power of putting girls down. The reality is that yes, this abuse will sometimes work short term because the distress created in the girl makes the girl long for some immediate comfort. However, when the girl senses that the abuse is happening, and if she is high self esteem, she will, she will retaliate in a way that will make most guys melt to shreds.
Which is why it becomes important to ACTUALLY have emotional value rather than just trying to create it through putting HER down.
Of course, this only becomes important if you, like me, care about actually creating REAL attraction long term as well.
One of the reasons I don’t go on and on about how to get one night stands, makeouts in clubs, fingering a girl in a club, and all kinds of other related stuff is because it’s like talking to Wayne Gretzky about how you figured out how to tie on your SKATES.
Really, it’s just RIDICULOUSLY easy to the point that it should be EMBARRASING if that is what you consider “getting somewhere”.
It’s embarrasing if you are still caught up in thinking THAT is cool. If that makes you feel like you are a “somebody”.
Why is it so easy? Because on any given night, at any club, the VAST MAJORITY of girls are tipsy or BALLS OUT DRUNK, (so their horniness goes more UNRESTRICTED- i.e. the anti slut defense is MUTED) is and some girls are easier than others, regardless of how they look, even if they are “hot”.
In fact, I would venture to say that any guy who cleans himself up, and just gets COMFORTABLE with girls, not really SKILLED but just comfortable, who goes up to a few girls at a club, keeps the convo light and fun and keeps it going, and gets her seated in a corner, can achieve this with at least one out of several girls.
ANY GUY. With just getting COMFORTABLE. Not even having any REAL skill.
It’s TOTAL BEGINNER stuff.
But how many guys even GO OUT???? They stay at home eating pizza or drinking beer with friends. Or if they go out, they don’t do much.
So they are in pre-beginner level.
So they don’t KNOW this stuff. It’s like a magician who impresses everybody until they find out the trick.
I would also go so far as to say that SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME in these environments will DETERIORATE your energy and time, and thus cause your REAL game to go DOWN.
The REAL game that revolves around your LIFESTYLE and way of thinking. Which is the most important part of your IDENTITY.
The reason for this is because if you really don’t like smoke and clubs and drinking too much, then you will be DILUTING YOURSELF, MAKING YOURSELF INCONGRUENT by not pursuing your REAL identity and actually SACRIFICING it.
Not mention all the TIME you would be wasting that could be better spent developing your REAL identity and your REAL uniquely strong assets in emotional stimulation.
Do you think that any of the greatest men alive today, at least in the department of men who can TRULY have their pick of any woman, do you think they spent all their time in CLUBS? Or doing PICK UP?
That is why I have been emphasizing since DAY ONE that this is about more than just your direct interaction with women. That is just one very important part of it, but it’s not close to being the whole thing.
Clubs are one useful TRAINING ground simply because there are so many women there. Also, for so many guys, we have been trained to be TOO serious, so we need to learn to FEEL the good fun energy of a club and let go of the logical serious side of ourselves. However, once you “get” that, you don’t need to spend your life in there, as I see so many guys doing like robots, spending 12 hours a week in clubs, getting no rest and burning themselves out so they have no energy for their LIFE.
Also, it’s not just clubs that I’m getting at. What I’m getting at is how to get a certain CALIBRE of girl, so even BEYOND clubs, and ANYWHERE, if you want to appeal to the highest tier type of girl with her INNER act together as well as her OUTER self, the routines and games are not going to work, the artificial routines are just a TOOL to get the skills STARTED and get you off to some momentum.
This is one of the reasons I don’t think that pickup in itself is EVERYTHING unless all you care about is one night stands or short-lived relationships.
Pick-up in itself cannot help you with KEEPING the girl.
Pickup is not the HIGHEST litmus test of attraction.
Simple proof: Take all the games and tricks and tactics of pick up artists, and then have some CHEESY B LEVEL movie or tv or music STAR compete with him.
Even a star with ZERO “game”.
In most cases, the B level dude will STILL SMOKE the hell out of the pick up artist.
Both short term AND long term!
Because the B level dude still stands out MORE, and wields more power, and far more social proof. And he’s not even trying, so he’s totally congruent forever, he’s not ever trying to keep up some image, it’s who he is. There are no lines, no tactics.
And even the star, he may not fare much better for the long term unless he UNDERSTANDS how to create EMOTION, and this must be developed as an extension of his real identity, or it will crumble to pieces because no one can fake for life.
But the pick up artist industry thrives on illusions of success based on drunk girls at clubs and also thrives on fears that guys have of their girlfriend cheating on them or some future girlfriend that they MIGHT HAVE, cheating on them.
But let’s be REAL- does Brad Pitt stay up at night worrying if some guy learning pick up is going to steal Angelina from him? Is that what’s keeping him up at night?
It’s BULL.
So what the heck am **I** doing here?
Simple: I’m here to let you know that PICK-UP is just the BEGINNING of your skills. And it’s important to realize that now before you spend endless hours focused only on pickup, and especially on drunken girls.
And in fact, there are guys who are not so great with the INITIAL pick up, but who can smoke out the other guys once they get past that stage.
So for them, learning to improve their initial few minutes for the pickup is very useful, but it’s not something to focus MONTHS of their life on. That’s ludicrous.
By the way, in case you’re wondering how those guys can SMOKE the “pick up artists”, it’s easy to explain what is going on:
They have MORE EMOTIONAL VALUE to the woman, but it takes them a while to warm up to start showing it all.
Some pick up artists are good at the beginning of the game, but then the chick finds out there is nothing TO the guy and she drops him. Or she is only using him for sex like she was doing to several other guys at the same time. It sounds funny, but in reality it’s not a big deal to get sex from women who are hot. It’s if you want all the OTHER stuff that things get more complicated.
You know, things like her being emotionally stable, drug-free, not a heavy drinker, upbeat, having long term potential, and having balance in her own life, being intelligent and creative, and being a giving, warm person as well.
Hence, the importance of DATING. To FIND OUT more about the chick before you decide you even WANT to get to that whole naked stage.
And to take things to a deeper level psychologically as well. For YOUR benefit, not just for hers.
Who would have thunk???????
Once you have STANDARDS, this stuff makes a heck of a lot of sense.
If you have nothing better to do, then definitely, throw your standards to the wind, and desperately pursue every girl possible.
If that’s what you want, then definitely, hang out as many places as you can where lower caliber women are getting alcohol saturated into their bloodstreams and into their brains. Flap the time away.
Of course, you don’t hear much about high caliber women in the pick up drunk girls club circles. Don’t even MENTION it or you will be SHUNNED.
You kind of ruin the VIBE of the entire cult like movement then.
Similarly, don’t even MENTION the term STD there. Heck they have a religion of club pick up to run, and all non-believers who are ruining the vibe must be sent to pick up purgatory till they reform and promote stds!
Stds don’t exist in that cult land of fairy tale attraction where all the girls are super high quality under the gloss of dim lights and lots of moonshine.
So what IS this thing I call REAL attraction?
Let’s start off by explaining what it is NOT:
It’s not just HORNINESS. ANY girl, if HORNY enough, and in a private location, is likely to have sex, the same way YOU would have sex with a girl you OTHERWISE would consider UGLY but at the moment you consider GREAT.
It’s not DRUNKENNESS. ANY girl is NOT completely her REAL self when drunk. Proof: When Brad Pitt walks in the room, even NON drunk girls will still be very open to him.
It’s not MOLDING your values to MODEL hers. In other words, real attraction does not require that YOU model HER lifestyle of clubs, drinks, and late nights. And REAL attraction would mean she was into you even though you were THE OPPOSITE. i.e. the same way a girl who was a total party girl would probably do everything she could to CHANGE her image in order to be the kind of chick that Brad preferred. NOT the other way around.
When I started out in this field, the BIGGEST thing that made me different from everyone else was that I was NOT an “entertainer” for girls. Rather, I decided to develop MY IDENTITY, for REAL, not to just make a ROUTINE out of it.
And THIS is what I teach guys to do. Also, what I teach is how to create COMPELLING EMOTIONS in a woman that go far beyond just being “hard to get” which is the sum total strategy of most of the other stuff out there.
EVERY emotion can be ATTRACTIVE if it is created in the right way. Humor can be attractive or it can be repulsive. Being too self-deprecating can be repulsive. Being playful but confident is sexy and a sign of VALUE.
Intrigue can be depressing or it can be compelling. And so on and so forth. There is a METHOD to the madness. All the emotions you create in her have to not only link to YOUR superiority, but have to ALSO link to MAKING HER FEEL ELEVATED as well as a result of BEING chosen by you.
When you understand how to create OVERWHELMING emotions in a woman, you will never again have to worry about another argument, you will never have to worry about convincing a woman of ANYTHING. She will do what you want all out of her OWN accord, her own EMOTION.
You have to understand that when a girl sees a ROCK star and falls like crazy or screams out for him, there is an EMOTIONAL reason for this. It’s FAR FAR stronger than any “pick up” tactic. It’s ATTRACTION because he has already PUSHED so many buttons from the emotions unleashed by his MUSIC, (as well as the SOCIAL proof he gets from having endless fans, including female fans that want him, so she wants him more).
Similarly, a head of state will wield emotional power of a different sort, the kind that resonates the feeling of “I HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN”.
So what is REALLY important to learn is NOT how to take advantage of drunk or tipsy party girls, which means very little in terms of ATTRACTION, but rather what is important is to learn how to CREATE POWERFUL EMOTIONS IN WOMEN.
As soon as you are creating emotions, you **ARE** important, to her, because the human brain REGISTERS emotion as PROOF that something indeed is IMPORTANT.
In fact, it ONLY registers emotion as important. Nothing else. Which is why you ignored breakfast and maybe lunch but WOLFED down supper because the emotion of hunger got you off your butt to TAKE action.
And what is the REALLY great news, is that you can develop these powers of emotion by learning to fully develop the ATTRACTIVE parts of your OWN identity, AND then also learning how to EMOTIONALLY convey all that to a woman.
This creates the MOST POWERFUL emotions in a woman, because she can tell that it’s NOT an act with you.
Contrived acts, or acts that seem FAKE, never stir much emotion. Picture some LONG LASTING rock group that has always written their own material vs. some pre-packaged group whose entire identity has been contrived.
So once you develop this identity fully, and you learn the skills for conveying this emotionally, you are PERFECTLY congruent, FOREVER.
In order to develop this in the shortest time possible, I seriously suggest you get the FULL PICTURE:
The Seduction Mastery Apprenticeship Program CD Set.
This 10 CD program contains over 11 HOURS of perfectly organized, PRECIOUS material that will show you EXACTLY how to create emotions so powerful in women that they will be ADDICTED to you.
And if you haven’t already downloaded my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, then definitely do that IMMEDIATELY. This book is the FOUNDATION on which all my other programs build upon.
How To Attract A Good Woman
September 5, 2007 | Leave a Comment
There is a HUGE LIE out there. It goes like this: “If you can get LOTS OF GIRLS INTO BED, then you MUST be able to have a successful long-term relationship”.
And the false logic continues with: “If you can get lots of girls who are ATTRACTIVE into bed, then you can FOR SURE get one girl who is “HOT” for a long term relationship”.
This lie is seriously hurting a lot of people. Why? Because deep down, 99.99 percent of guys DO SERIOUSLY WANT a great relationship.
That doesn’t mean they are NEEDY for one in some desperate way.
It just means they know what they want most.
In fact, the VAST, VAST VAAAAAAAAST majority of supposedly “cool” “pick up artists” were either BURNED in relationships or were incapable of the emotional maturity to even have a normal relationship in the first place. And they are protecting their weak fragile ego by staying out of any long term situation that can burn them again. Also, they have created a lifestyle that serves as a self-defense mechanism of distracting themselves with instant short-term temporary validations (much of which comes from their MALE peers, which is very pathetic, because it means they are not even enjoying being with that woman but rather they live for the validation and props of their male peers who also have no real lives of their own or they would be too busy for such b.s.)
This lifestyle keeps them in nice safe secure buffer zone that is nicer than total loneliness, but lacking the intimacy of something like a real relationship.
In reality, they are the softies, because they are so freakin’ scared out of their skulls to actually put any emotional risk into anything.
Also, some of these guys know it’s screwed up and don’t even live that life or don’t even really want it but they keep up the image of being that type of guy for biz to pretend they are “cool” to a bunch of fools who know even less than they do who still think it’s cool since they haven’t even had some much as a real conversation with a girl in their lives, so for them the idea of sleeping with lots of girls seems like a fantasy.
The guys who were BURNED got the MISGUIDED notion that they would “GET the girl” from NOW ON, and they would prove it to themselves over and over again. It made them feel secure.
Except for two things:
They were not getting “the girl”. They were just getting “a girl”.
In fact, they are REPULSING the kind of girl they wanted MOST.
They were getting a girl that sleeps with LOTS of guys, and they were distracting themselves from this fact by sleeping with other girls, (who of course did the same thing, because that’s the kind of girls you get in this scene) and so on and so on, in a never ending cycle.
They were NOT getting the emotional “juice” or REWARD that they really wanted.
They wanted the CONNECTION, the long term connection AND the attraction. But they were and are not getting it.
Because even CRAZY girls with a DROP of sanity are not going to have some guy seeing other girls while THEY continue to be faithful.
It’s not just that this is “unfair”, it’s that it DESTROYS the whole MEANING of sharing one’s life with another person at the highest level. There’s no POINT for a girl to be in this, unless she is some low self esteem girl or some girl who feels she has NO CHOICES.
So, the ONLY girl that will tolerate a guy seeing other girls is a girl that is NOT emotionally serious at all about the guy.
But eventually, if not immediately, most guys and girls want something MORE than this.
It has NOTHING to do with NEEDINESS.
I can give you ENDLESS examples of guys who had INFINITE choice of women who were ABSOLUTELY NOT NEEDY who WANTED to make a serious EXCLUSIVE relationship work, from Hugh Hefner the guy who started Playboy to rock stars like Gene Simmons (who seems to have successfully pulled it off and stayed away from drugs as well for many years), and about a MILLION other guys who had and have plenty of choice among women.
It has to do with being EMOTIONALY DEVELOPED as opposed to being emotionally retarded.
NEEDINESS is one thing. But the INABILITY to BOND or the FEAR of bonding is a sign of emotional wreckage.
So, the irony is, that in the eyes of any EMOTIONALY DEVELOPED WOMAN, if she sees a guy who got hurt by some woman, and then he decides to RUN from intimacy and instead DEAFEN the voices of his emotions for CONNECTION by DROWNING himself in the INSTANT EMOTIONAL DISTRACTION of getting notches on his bedpost and getting TEMPORARY DISTRACTION with one partner after another, this type of behavior will actually PUSH AWAY THE WOMAN of QUALITY that indeed he REALLY wanted.
In fact, if any guy thinks he is “getting his dignity back” and getting “validated” by that type of lifestyle, the reality is that he is ACTUALLY coming across as REPULSIVE to any woman of QUALITY.
So this is by no means some moral instruction. It’s just a fact that you need to BECOME what you want to ATTRACT. Because you attract that which you ARE.
You are a guy who is cool, fun, not needy, but ready for emotional connection and some emotional risk? You’ll find you get along quite well in a convo with a similar woman.
You are a guy who is all about short term only? You’ll find you get along quite well with a similar woman.
Now, mix the two up, and it’s a different story.
Now, the thing is, the mind is very sophisticated organism. You ARE what you THINK and DO.
So, if you were BURNED AND EMOTIONALLY INVALIDATED in a relationship, the relative emotional GAP between that PAIN and the at least TEMPORARY VALIDATION PLEASURE of winning “another conquest” feels GREAT. For a brief moment. So you move on to the next woman. Etc.
And if you do that ALL THE TIME, you start to seriously think that is the only world that really has any meaning. Because you take on the beliefs that THAT is the way to go.
You BLIND yourself to any OTHER reality.
Which is why pick up artists are addicted to the NEXT one, because the validation and emotional reward is so weak that they have to do it again with someone new to help distract themselves. No wonder it is a lifestyle, because it has to be REGULAR AND REPEATING, or it quickly lacks ANY meaning altogether.
And if you don’t believe me, go and try it. Live the pick up lifestyle, and make sure to get new partners as well, so don’t JUST do pickup and focus on how attraction works, like a fisherman who fishes but puts the fish back to the sea, but actually have lots of partners as well, for a few months.
And then see how you feel if you stop for one or two days. See how you feel. It feels like something is very empty. As if there is a NEED to go and do pick up because NOTHING else seems to mean anything, and that’s because everything else reminds you of the OTHER world which is a real downer when you are not part of it. In fact, you go so far as to BERATE the other world as in “haaa look at those fools in relationships haaa all just waiting to get cheated on those fools haaa”.
This gives the cult like movement a nice security blanket to feel good about being nuts.
But they need that blanket, because the validation is short term for guys in this lifestyle.
ESPECIALLY since these guys know that THE CHICKS they have been having sex with do NOT CARE about them on even a FRACTION of the level of something that would exist in a REAL relationship that actually WORKED.
In fact, that’s ***WHY*** the chick has sex with him. It’s because she DOESN’T care that much, so it doesn’t matter if she’s not really ATTRACTED to him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After all, he’s only the LATEST guy! There will be another guy by Tuesday!
So she DOESN’T’ CARE if she is not attracted, he is simply there for CONVENIENCE for now.
So that guy that is a TOTAL DORK that becomes a pick up addict? He’s an even BIGGER dork now if he think that PICK UP IN AND OF ITSELF IS MAKING HIM “THE MAN”, because at least before he KNEW he was getting a raw deal, so he got out of it, but now, he THINKS the chicks care about him, when in fact they would sell him for a piece of toilet paper in an instant. And yet, he THINKS he’s THE MAN.
Now THAT’S sad.
This is the stuff that the sleaze balls DO NOT WANT YOU TO KNOW.
In fact, they will tell you that “Any chick who isn’t up to the instant-gratification-SEX-right away-program must have LOW SELF-ESTEEM and have “ISSUES”!!!! So they tell the guy, “You deserve to have a better girl than that, like this s-k-a-n-k right here for example! Go for her, man!”
So, that means it’s all about QUANTITY. Next, next, next. Mass production. The instant orgasm mentality.
To me, learning pick up is a MEANS to an ENDS. It’s NOT about pick up for pick-ups sake. The process is fun, yes, but it’s fun because you are learning SO MUCH about human interaction.
And the truth is, no matter how many times a pick up artist tries to pretend that it’s not about the lifestyle in and of itself, how the *&^% can he really mean it when he keeps on showing off about his CONQUESTS?????????
Clearly, for these guys, it IS about the lifestyle. And that lifestyle is based MOST on: Getting validation from other GUYS.
Don’t get me wrong. A REAL relationship, a GREAT relationship with a woman is many things, and ONE of those things is CARNAL. Definitely.
It’s just not the ONLY thing.
And in fact, the SEX becomes BETTER with time if you know how to CONNECT with each other on a very deep level because you are able to UNLEASH and you are able TO TRUST so much deeper than with anyone else, because after all, you have SHARED so much more.
The problem is that these days we are living in an emotionally RETARDED society. We have often bad examples that teach us. The truth is that the greatest gift parents can give their children is to love each other but how often does this happen? Sometimes, children who had rough childhoods where the parents did not love each other actually have a GREATER desire for a real relationship, because they APPRECIATE how precious it is to have that and they really want that for themselves. So if they meet another person like that, they might hit it off really well. But sometimes it creates a cynicism in people, and a belief that life is all about “me”, or insecurities that the other gender is never to be trusted, etc.
So of course, that makes for a really selfish relationship that crumbles long term. Where everything is about the career, or the money, or the bigger house, the car, or comparing with the neighbor’s house or car. Sure greed has ALWAYS been part of human nature, but at least there were COMPETING values at one time. But now, it takes a real INDIVIDUAL THINKER to not be swept up with the masses.
Similar to the individual who is not swept up with the current TREND of pick up lifestyle.
And like all trends, it will sway one way, and then the next, like Madonna who preaches as the material girl, the sexual girl, then the spiritual girl, and anything else she can to keep changing her image as something new.
BUT REAL EMOTIONAL TRUTH DEFIES TRENDS.
IT IS UNIVERSAL AND TIMELESS.
Which is why if you are serious about a great relationship, you have to SCREEN for the right woman with the right values.
And such a woman is hardly going to be DRAWN to a guy that lives the lifestyle of constant gaming, pick up, and multiple partners.
Now, this brings me to PART II:
Before I continue, I just want to mention that you will be doing ME and the WORLD a huge favor if you FORWARD this newsletter to people you think could LEARN from it.
The CRUCIAL QUESTION then is:
HOW DO YOU ATTRACT A WOMAN OF QUALITY FOR A GREAT LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP?
And the answer to that is SIMPLE, yet not EASY.
You must be COMPELLING and yet also be a GOOD PERSON.
Believe me, women WANT a good guy. I SWEAR TO IT.
Especially women who are great people themselves. They ESPECIALLY want a guy who is a great person.
It’s just that they want a good guy who they are ATTRACTED to.
Just like YOU want a good woman who you are also ATTRACTED to.
It’s MUCH EASIER to create some SHORT TERM impact by resorting to the energies of the NEGATIVE.
Kinda like what Yoda said about the force. One side was easier, faster. But he never said it was stronger.
And when you give in to the easy but wrong path, you get the consequence, AS THE UNIVERSE GIVES YOU BACK ULTIMATELY WHAT YOU GAVE.
For example, think to yourself of how RARE it is even for HOLLYWOOD to create TRULY compelling characters who are also GOOD people? So often, the good guys seem boring. But Hannibal Lecter, there’s someone INTERESTING. Or the bad guys in Pulp Fiction.
But those kind of movies just catch our attention for a brief moment, then pass, forgotten and not desired to be repeated. (p.s. that’s why Tarantino really is only famous for that ONE movie even though at the time everyone said he would be the next big thing. )
They don’t LAST with us in a good way. You don’t want to see it over and over again. Because you DON’T LIKE THE CHARACTER.
Now, contrast THAT with the RARE GOOD GUY who IS compelling: Think of Jim Carrey in Liar Liar. Sure, he’s not perfect, he’s human, but he’s a NORMAL guy, and a GOOD guy who really WANTS to be with his kid.
And he’s ALSO got INFINITE PERSONALITY. TONS of AWESOME stuff, from the way he connects with his kid when he DOES do it right to the way he roasts all his office colleagues.
And his sense of confident humor. Seriously, go rent the flick. SEE CONFIDENT PERSONALITY IN ACTION.
Now, of course, you have to be careful not to TEETER over the edge to become GOOFY, but if you’re too serious, you can learn a LOT from a guy like that.
Similarly, the MASK. The Mask’s humor and personality is NEVER submissive, yet he is FUNNY AS HECK. In fact, his humor IS SOAKING in confidence.
Yes, these are comedies, but the DUDE has awesome PERSONALITY. When he puts on that mask, he UNLEASHES all the awesome stuff that IS REALLY HIM that he normally in his other identity, (the repressed by society version of himself) would NOT let out.
Most GOOD guys need to put on a Mask like that to unleash the COOL YET GOOD GUY underneath.
Similarly, the new Star Wars movies SUCK because the GOOD GUYS all seem BORING as hell. (the bad guys are boring too, but that’s besides the point)
But the OLD Star Wars movies, ALL the GOOD GUYS had COMPELLING CHARACTERS, PERSONALITIES, IDENTITIES. (In fact, all the characters were interesting, women as well.)
Especially a guy like Han Solo, but really ALL the characters were interesting.
It’s much much MUCH more cool to have a guy that IS a good guy and IS ALSO cool than it is to just be A JERK.
i.e. Luke, Han Solo, James Bond, Indiana Jones, and even the likes of Jim Carrey’s characters in his movies, like The Mask!
You can be lots of things, but you can’t be BORING.
But because GOOD GUYS tend to often be SILENT when it comes to making the first impression, they lose by default to the jerks who really are just a TINY iota better than NOTHING.
So, just like in the movies, where audiences would rather see INTERESTING bad guys than BORING good guys, (i.e. Pulp Fiction) so too in the real world the JERKS get EASY attention.
They are forgotten easily too. But this is why you as a GOOD GUY have a RESPONSIBILITY to STAND OUT in a COOL WAY, otherwise you are LETTING the jerks win by DEFAULT.
Being a COOL AND INTERESTING GOOD GUY is farrrrrrrrrrrrrrr MORE rare and far more powerful than just being a jerk.
So if YOU can be that good guy who is ALSO cool and compelling, you are going to RULE.
Same thing by the way when it comes to women, it’s rare to meet a woman who is a GOOD PERSON and is ALSO a great fun person to be with. Too often, the good girls let themselves go and aren’t sexy, and too often the sexy girls are too superficial. But a girl who is sexy and has the personality as well, she will RULE. And you can bet she is not going to settle for some jerk.
That flick The Notebook, same thing, there are actually NO JERKS in that movie, the lead guy is not a jerk and yet he is still INTERESTING, he is COMPELLING.
And hmmmm, chicks LOVE that movie.
THE VIBES of the flick are what creates the MOOD, the STATE OF MIND, in the person watching it.
AND IN REAL LIFE, THE VIBES YOU GIVE A WOMAN LOOONG TERM ARE WHAT COUNT.
If a guy is a sleaze-ball, and you are with a GOOD woman, she will EVENTUALLY catch on. Unfortunately, many sleaze-balls have learned to ACT decent enough to get a woman short term. That’s why I say saint or bastard, attraction is about understanding what WORKS and DOING it.
But the thing is, to be effective, you have to be CONGRUENT. Your actions and words and everything about you has to be consistent. A sleaze ball simply will find it too much WORK to ACT congruent on all these levels and WILL slip up and he will be dumped on his butt.
But it’s really sad to see guys who WERE good guys, who become sleazeballs or even lower their own standards of behavior because they think it will ATTRACT a woman of QUALITY the same way it attracted the other lower caliber women.
The biggest IRONY is that pick up artists all talk about “vibing” but the LIMITS to this vibing are SO PATHETIC.
Because the extent of vibing you need for having sex with a party girl is very LITTLE.
In a REAL RELATIONSHIP, you have to naturally have this VIBE about you LONG TERM, even after heated arguments, hard times, etc. You like each other because of the REAL VIBES that you have for each other’s TOTALITY, that includes sexuality for sure, but ALSO INCLUDES YOUR ENTIRE IDENTITY. Not JUST sex. But why would pick up artists care about that?
To me, while I was learning about pick up, I focused on learning about ALL THE EMOTIONS involved in human interaction, because sex was not my only concern.
You’ve probably noticed that about me throughout the years if you’ve been a long time follower of the newsletters as well as my materials of course.
So how can you be a GOOD GUY while also having a COMPELLING personality and “aura”?
I can’t tell you how to be a good guy, I’m assuming you already ARE.
But being a good guy who is compelling requires you to know how to DEVELOP the parts of yourself that ARE cool and UNIQUE.
And you have to learn to SHOW these dimensions of yourself as well, or a woman won’t know a thing about you when you first meet her. Often, that’s your only chance to make an impression.
In order to do that, you need to also understand how to reflect your individuality through MANY THINGS, including your sense of STYLE, to name just ONE thing.
You also need to learn how to take on a NEW WAY of looking at the world that will LIBERATE your emotions and make you super resourceful to accomplish what you thought was impossible, both in your love life and in your career.
You need to learn how to unleash your identity, and communicate it through your humor as well. It helps to understand in fact what HUMOR is, and also what ATTRACTIVE humor is.
And you also need to have a plan that you can fall back on in case you meet a woman and for a second you STALL. A plan that enables you to STILL go about the interaction even if you WEREN’T IN PERFECT STATE.
And I can show you ALL THIS, in DETAIL, in a clearly organized, easy to understand way.
If you want to MASTER this area of your life, don’t waste any time. Change the path of your love life right NOW by getting the entire technology and wisdom of my most advanced program sent to you IMMEDIATELY:
The Seduction Mastery Apprenticeship Program CD Set.
This Program is massively comprehensive: You will also learn to create the EMOTIONS in women that make LIFE worth LIVING for them. You will learn to create DEEP attraction, trust, connection, AND you will learn to incorporate all this naturally, for you will GROW as a PERSON with these insights and skills. It will become a product of who you ARE, and not just of something you “do”.
This program is the only one of its kind that will teach you the most sophisticated level of EMOTIONAL DYNAMICS especially as it relates to ATTRACTION.
And of course, in order to BE with the woman of your dreams, you have to pick her up as well: So, to ensure you ACE this part too, I’ve ALSO included TONS of EXPLICIT, DETAILED information on EXACTLY how to smoothly perform the pickup ANYWHERE, from FIRST seeing her all the way to getting physical and beyond.
And if you haven’t yet downloaded my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, then do that first. It’s the FOUNDATION on which the more advanced concepts in my above program build upon.
The DNA Of Attraction
September 5, 2007 | Leave a Comment
To me, the BIGGEST part of all this stuff is TRULY “GETTING IT” at the highest level. It’s been the mission, the obsession, of my life.
UNDERSTANDING THE MATRIX, IN FULL. When you REALLY get it, at the DNA level, you can see how it forms the ingredients of EVERY emotion and how it affects EVERYTHING you do with women.
And of course, you see how it affects YOU too. And all this enables you to exert an INTELLIGENT AND ACTIVE FORCE on your interactions with women, so that that gets the desired RESULT. As opposed to being a guy who is just hoping for a miracle.
This stuff is SOOO liberating, that I truly encourage every good guy on EARTH to learn it for his own PEACE OF MIND, never mind the AWESOME SIDE BENEFIT of also having the time of his life with the girl or girls of his choice.
What do I mean by LIBERATING? I mean liberating from the MASSIVE depression, the loneliness, the hellish pain of feeling LONGING for some CHICK that is not even RETURNING the feeling!!!
I hear from dozens of guys a WEEK about this pain. And I remember it well myself.
And it’s not just the pain from not getting the chick. Often the chick SEEMS to be downright CRUEL sometimes! And yet as good guys, we get our brains MASHED into somehow thinking that we are still doing the RIGHT thing with our crazy strategies that only bring more pain.
The craziest thing about this stuff is that there is usually no middle ground. Because once you finally GET IT internally, you not only get RESULTS, but you also don’t have to WORK HARD at it anymore. You ENJOY it, it’s not “work”.
When you “get it”, you not only get TANGIBLE RESULTS, but you also understand women PERFECTLY, and you GET RID of the bitterness and the hate and you SEE that so often things were not as cruel and evil as they seemed AT ALL.
They seemed cruel and evil because they caused us PAIN. But in fact, it was our messed up PERSPECTIVES and our conditioned behaviors, and our LACK of proper insights that allowed this negativity into our lives.
Let me get into a SPECIFIC EXAMPLE:
I used to get EMOTIONALLY DECIMATED by the effects of many movies on my perception of women. I would watch as the hero went through emotional torture and finally got the girl through PERSISTENCE and LONGING and PATIENCE and LOYALTY and DEDICATION.
So I figured THAT was what chicks LIKED, since after all, not only did I feel the emotionally was “true”, but also CHICKS seemed to ALSO love these movies.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I was not ONLY into these kinds of movies. I was all into RAMBO, ROCKY, and all that stuff. But I ALSO would get affected by romantic movies.
Then, after YEARS, of finally figuring out the TRUTH about attraction, and what DOES work, I HATED all those chick flicks.
But there was still one question left: Why the heck do chicks even LIKE these movies, if in FACT, women are NOT attracted to guys that act like that?????
And then one day it finally HIT me: Even though guys and girls might see the SAME movie, they are actually seeing two TOTALLY DIFFERENT movies.
You see, the truth is that once you GET IT TOTALLY, you actually SEE the full picture.
Let me give you a PERFECT EXAMPLE: The movie “The Notebook”.
Chicks looooooved this movie. And in fact it was written by a guy. And it’s actually a pretty well made movie, even for guys, IF you are ALREADY in the KNOW. If you are NOT informed about women and what works, you will NOT get it AT ALL.
Skip the next section if you want to actually SEE this movie.
If you are a typical good guy, the story seems to be about some old guy telling this old chick about a story about a guy without much money who falls for a cute chick from a richer social class and who REALLY DIG each other but then end up in a fight. They split, she moves away and eventually meets some other dude and gets engaged, and the original guy is depressed for years till they meet again and the passion reignites and she realizes HE was the one all along. We then find out that the old guy and old chick ARE the characters, and that she has memory loss and he tells her the story every day till for a few minutes she remembers who he is, then forgets him all over again. It breaks him up to see her forget him, but it’s okay, since he loves her.
SO, if you are a good guy, you get all the WRONG lessons: KISS UP, and pine for a girl for your whole life, and be willing to give up EVERYTHING even for a FEW SECONDS of having a chick REMEMBER you.
And get DEPRESSED and DON’T MOVE ON properly with any other chick.
And you are taught that this is ROMANTIC and that chicks LIKE this stuff, and appreciate such behavior, since after all the movie was a MASSIVE HIT.
And the movie shows you that if you just MOPE AROUND LONG ENOUGH, the CHICK will come back, she will be crazy about you, etc.
DISASTROUS, I say.
BUT!
And there’s a BIG but here: HOW COME THIS FLICK IS A BLOCKBUSTER?
How come chicks get all choked up and WET from this???
I’ll TELL you why, because they saw a TOTALLY DIFFERENT MOVIE.
Now, let me tell you the movie they saw, from the perspective of ATTRACTION:
In practically the first couple of MINUTES of this movie, the GUY of the movie shows GUTS, COURAGE, CONVICTION, A SENSE OF HUMOR, AND EVEN SHOWS JUST THE RIGHT TOUCH OF “VULNERABILITY”.
Basically, while at the town carnival, (this story is set during the Second World War in a small town) he sees this beautiful girl having the time of her life on the bumper cars, she seems so totally free and full of spark. As she gets off the cars and joins her date for the evening as well as her girlfriend and the guy she is with, (so you get the feeling that this is not something too serious, and more of a social thing) the guy who is the main character comes STRAIGHT UP TO HER, and asks her if she’ll dance with him.
He says it relaxed, a confident smile, and NOT like a jerk at all. He is practically in her face, yet his demeanor is so calm, it doesn’t seem crazy.
She tells him no. He calmly says why not, NOT in an argumentative way, but in a DISARMING way. She tries to act like “a lady” that she is not one to just be “taken” especially while she is OUT with some dude and her friends, so she tells him she doesn’t WANT to.
He is TOTALLY unaffected, and smiles as she walks off.
As she goes off with her friends, she remarks to her girlfriend she can’t BELIEVE the guts the guy had.
She also finds out that this guy is not NORMALLY like that, so that he must REALLY like her.
DECODING: He had GUTS. He had CLASS. He was not treating her like a slut, because he ACTUALLY liked her as opposed to just her being another chick to use and discard. He was SPONTANEOUS and acted on his OWN desire the way he felt was right.
Allow me to continue:
Minutes later, he sees her on the ferris wheel as it’s about to start. He hurries over to it and jumps and grabs her car as it begins to rise, and he sits himself DOWN beside her and the dude!
He is very straightforward, introducing himself again, giving his name, handshake etc. The chick and the guy think he is nuts.
He wants to know if she’ll go out with him.
She says no. He calmly gets out of car as it is WAY UP HIGH now above the ground, hanging on to the rails by his HANDS only. He asks her again, and she says no, but then he lets go of the rails with one arm and is now only hanging on by ONE HAND.
She yells to him that’s she’ll go out with him. He tells her to say it again.
He calmly tells her something like, “don’t do me any favors if you don’t REALLY want to” and she yells back she “REALLY wants to”!!
So he gives back a COCKY, PLAYFUL RESPONSE and says “okay okay, I’ll go out with you” as if SHE begged for it.
Then, as he is hanging there, she tries to MAKE FUN of him and undoes his pants so he is hanging on by his arms and his pants are down with only his underwear on.
He takes it all IN STRIDE, it all SLIDES OFF HIS BACK, and he tells her he’s going to get for her it, but you know he is NOT pissed.
Can you say “PASSING THE SHIT TEST”?
Then, the next day, he sees her walking by his work and tries to set the date, she tells him she changed her mind. He doesn’t ARGUE with her, he DISARMS her by being CHARMING and giving her a GENUINE compliment that he likes her.
But REMEMBER, he has already shown VALUE through his behaviour and style.
So the COMPLIMENT is FLATTERING. She then tries to shit test him again, to see if he is REALLY serious or not. She tells him he’s a good player. He tells her that’s not it at all, which is the truth, it’s not.
At one point, she tells him he’s dumb, but you can tell she LIKES him, from her TONALITY. He doesn’t ARGUE with her, he even says he can be dumb, it’s something he does too as well as dance, etc.
You see, most guys would only focus on what he is saying that is self-deprecating, but they would IGNORE THE REAL STUFF he did that GOT HER ATTRACTED.
They get a low level “double date” where he goes to see a flick with her, and his buddy is there as well accompanying her girlfriend.
He CALIBRATES right, because he can tell she is enjoying the movie, and he LIKES THE FACT she is the kind of person who enjoys life. He likes her not just for her body, but for her personality as well.
Then something happens after the flick: He takes her for a walk and DISPLAYS MORE MASSIVE AWESOME PERSONALITY and CONNECTS WITH HER AS WELL.
He READS her correctly, even though she tells him how busy she is with all kinds of “serious” things, and how every second of her day is planned, mostly by her parents, he tells her that it’s strange because he always sensed she was FREE.
She says she IS free, but he senses that she WANTS to be free, she is the kind of person that really loves doing her own things, but that she is NOT doing that for most of her life.
He UNDERSTANDS HER BETTER than she understands herself.
He is giving her the GIFT of greater self awareness and leading her to the path of inner peace and feeling better about herself.
And then he does something REALLY GOOD:
He doesn’t just TALK, he DEMONSTRATES.
He lies down on the STREET, which is empty and pretty much free of traffic at night in this small town in those days. He chills out and enjoys watching the street light change from red to green etc.
She doesn’t want to join him, it’s too socially unacceptable and “crazy”. He tells her that’s her problem, that she’s too worried about what everyone else thinks.
She feels CHALLENGED by this.
HE CHALLENGES HER GENUINELY.
So she joins him, on the ground, looking up. He also teases her when she asks what happens if a car comes, playfully and casually saying “we die”.
In that moment, as she chills out and just enjoys the colors of the lights changing and TOTALLY chilling out there at night on the street, she has NOW ENTERED HIS WORLD.
She is feeling the peace, the joy of it. And it is PRICELESS even though it costs nothing.
Then suddenly, they hear a car SPEEDING so they MAKE A MAD RUSH AWAY FROM THE STREET onto the sidewalk, and she is laughing hysterically, because she HAS NEVER HAD SO MUCH FUN IN HER LIFE.
From here he offers her to dance again, right there on the street, and they do, and it’s the perfect time for real physical contact.
ATTRACTION has been earned. RESPECT has been earned. CONNECTION has been achieved.
He has STOOD OUT.
And it was all done in a NATURAL WAY. No manipulation.
THIS is the kind of stuff that CHICKS are seeing in the movie.
And the movie is EMOTIONALLY true as well, because the dude is not perfect.
He screws up when he LOSES HIS OWN SELF-ESTEEM when he repeatedly hears how OTHERS in her social circle look DOWN on him, including her mom, the family, the family friends, etc. Even though SHE STANDS UP FOR HIM, it’s not enough for him, because HE FEELS UNWORTHY of her. He can’t stand to FEEL like HE is holding her back from being as great in her social setting as she could be without him. He can’t stand to see her parents yelling at her because of HIM.
So HE breaks up with her.
She gets PISSED at him for wanting to break up with her. She tries to convince him not to worry about what others think, that they can make it, but he is TOO WEAK to LEAD THE SHOW OF HIS OWN LIFE, AND THIS SERIOUSLY PISSES HER OFF even though she is sad at the same time.
It pisses her off that HE doesn’t believe strongly enough in the GREAT TIMES that they had and that they can CONTINUE to have it.
The EMOTIONAL TRUTH of this is OVERWHELMINGLY ACCURATE.
The biggest enemy most guys have is THEMSELVES.
Well, I’m not going to go into the ENTIRE movie here, but let me just say that the way they DO end up back together is only AFTER he does the SAME THING that got HER into him in the FIRST PLACE: by being THE MAN.
When he first met her, he was operating from an INTERNAL PLACE OF GOOD VIBES and a place of EMOTIONAL ABUNDANCE.
He LIKED HER, he wasn’t NEEDY FOR HER. In fact, he ENCOURAGED HER TO ENJOY LIFE BEING HERSELF.
By encouraging greater INDEPENDENCE in her, she FLEW FASTER TO HIM.
And it wasn’t like he was doing this to be MANIPULATIVE, it was because he LIKED her personality, it was about the JOY for life he saw she had deep in her that needed to get out and be free.
And in the end, he does this again, in a more INTENSE way, when he tells her regarding her confusion over what to do, since in her own words the other guy is a “good man” too, he tells her to do for once what SHE feels, not what her PARENTS feel, not what HE feels, not what the other guy feels. He practically YELLS at her. Once again, this is a guy who is NOT desperate to have a woman.
A woman can only be with him if HE likes her and if SHE really WANTS to be there. And also, he really IS the kind of guy who believes in being FREE to do what you really believe.
So his words are CONGRUENT with his personality and actions. They thus have MAXIMUM EMOTIONAL IMPACT.
And he DOES get her back. But really, that’s not the point, the point is HIS IDENTITY, the kind of PERSON he is.
So ALL THE ABOVE ELEMENTS that I’ve discussed are what must happen in the REAL WORLD as well for a guy to get RESULTS with QUALITY women. I’m not saying the exact same EXAMPLES have to happen, but the exact same PRINCIPLES must be there:
The bringing her into YOUR world, the enriching HER life, the desire without the neediness, the connection, challenging her in a genuine yet heartfelt and good way, the ability to walk away, the true level of understanding her world as good or better than she does herself, and ALL the other elements above as well, including making sure that your OWN life has positive meaning for yourself, and following that philosophy.
Some of that is very advanced stuff.
And ALL THAT is what chicks emotionally responded to UNCONSCIOUSLY in that movie.
It’s UNCONSCIOUS. It’s INSTINCTIVE. It’s NATURAL.
It’s not cerebral, chicks do NOT go around articulating it.
It’s totally something they feel emotionally and immediately and NOT consciously or cerebrally.
And the emotions are true to life, it all makes perfect sense, in fact chick had no choice. It was HARDWIRED that they would love this flick.
These are the kinds of things that create in women when they watch the flick, the emotions of ROMANCE, TEARS, PASSION, AND THE TORRID SEXY LOVE SCENE when they reunite.
What you’ve just read is a GLIMPSE into a whole different UNIVERSE that no one else on EARTH is giving you. It’s the FULL TRUTH on the EMOTIONAL DYNAMICS OF ATTRACTION.
Understanding this universe is the key to genuinely improving yourself in this area naturally, and it’s also definitely the ONLY way to attract the true QUALITY girls.
If you’d like to enter this universe, I’ve created a special resource over the last several YEARS, designed to take you there as quickly as possible:
The Seduction Mastery Apprenticeship Program CD Set.
This Program is massively comprehensive: You will learn to create the EMOTIONS in women that make LIFE worth LIVING for them. You will learn to create MASSIVE attraction, trust, connection, AND you will learn to do all this naturally because it will become a product of who you are, and not just something you “do”.
This program is the only one of its kind that truly will make you an expert at EMOTIONAL DYNAMICS especially as it relates to ATTRACTION.
And it’s ALSO got EXPLICIT DETAILED info on how to smoothly perform pickup ANYWHERE, from FIRST seeing a woman all the way to getting physical and beyond, even long-term if you so desire.
It’s at:
http://www.pick-up-women.com/seductionmastery.shtml
And if you haven’t yet downloaded my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, then do that first. It’s the FOUNDATION on which the more advanced concepts in my above program build upon. I just was reading it myself again today and I’m damn proud of this baby too.