Attraction: A Play-By-Play Perspective
It’s awesome seeing theory in ACTION, and seeing exactly how a guy is applying the science and art of attraction successfully. To me this is the “sweetest science of all”. In fact, it’s not just a “means to an ends” for me, but it’s actually FASCINATING in and of itself.
So I’m going to use a fresh letter that just came in to help show the beauty in all this stuff. We’ll see how a guy pulled off an awesome job attracting a woman, and then we’ll take a look at it in slow-mo, blow-by-blow, so you can really get a good look at what’s going on.
Of course, this is not only going to be fun as heck, it’s also going to be one awesome learning experience about how to be even more successful with creating attraction and also understanding the dynamics of female culture and psychology.
Keep in mind ONE thing though. The way you interact with a woman EVOLVES as you get to know her, so remember that THIS letter is focusing on the INITIAL PICK-UP, and not on what happens as you CONTINUE to get to know her.
Get ready for some fun:
>>>LETTER<<<
Michael,
Hey we had a phone consultation last Sunday. I appreciate the knowledge that you shared with me and your personal story as well. I gotta couple things to say and a few questions as well, you can put ‘em in the newsletter if you like.
Your recent newsletter was about the guy who got divorced, took out a new woman and had her eating out of his hand, how he kissed her hand like Don Juan instead of on the lips and left rather than going home with her. Of course you remember, you wrote it. Also, if you remember in our phone conversation, you mentioned how, internally, your negative experiences with women that were the result of you behaving according to the brainwashed culture, eventually made you reach boiling point, and put you over the top, and you decided from there to not give a *(&%PRCTG%, to start giving women “a hard time” and you said BAM the results just happened. Even though you later improved upon this and found a way to get even better results without being abusive.
I have to admit that after seeing these things and being logical, I like to play devil’s advocate and do things that are counter to what others tell me are true…
So…since our talk I checked on a couple of other dating sites, just to see what people say compared to you, I wanted to see if it was all the same, or if everyone thinks they have their own great idea that only works for them, but doesn’t work for anyone else, etc. I found that a lot of the others, while not advocating being “Nice” or a wuss, were advocating being a charmer through compliments and romantic things and looking deep into her eyes and flirting on and on, just introducing yourself and saying hi with a big smile on your face… I’ve always thought this would be a better fit for my personality, but am/was/ willing to give your stuff a go if it is what gets results…
Since I read your stuff first, I’ve filtered the other stuff through it and compared everything I see/read to what you’ve said. So, I’ve found that usually your info is different than the rest and I didn’t know if that was good or not:
Well, the CLINCHER happened the other night as I was working on the computer. I was doing some stuff and I always leave the TV on just for background noise. (One Of The Famous Dating TV Shows) was on. It’s a show where they put two people on a blind date, give ‘em a car and let ‘em go to a park, a restaurant, and bar or something along those lines.
They show that the dude, I will call him Mitch (for privacy’s sake) an average looking dude with dark hair and an athletic build who works as a bouncer is going to be going on a date with a smokin’ woman who looked a little like Carmen Electra. For privacy’s sake, I’ll call her Anita. She’s a model who was featured in a VERY famous televised lingerie show with kazillions of viewers.
Anyway, the dude was a &*&^<%# pr*ck the whole night. He shows up an hour late, makes a comment like, “Damn, that’s a short a%PRCTG%# skirt.”
They get in the car, right away he says, “I’ve never been on a blind date…”, she starts to say “Yeah, me neither…”, but before she can FINISH the statement, HE says, “and I don’t know if I will again.” She looks at him, and goes “oh my gawd,” but she is SMIRKING and totally turned on. She gives a playful roll of the eyes right.
Anyway, he busts her all night, she at one point says, “I think you’re a di*&.” He laughs, gets close to her, and says, “What you think…? You think…?” She says, “Okay, fine, you ARE a di**.” He just laughs.
Later he says, among many similar type things, “I thought they would hook me up with someone who was pretty,” – YES HE SAID THIS.
Later, when the date is almost over, she gets serious, and says, ” You know I think you may have a little insecurity, you kind of take it too far sometimes, the teasing, and I don’t like it.” He smirks, looks away, and comes back with, “You know, I don’t like sheep, women that just do what others do, so I had to see if you would stand up for yourself, be different and not be a pushover, and you have (stood up).”
She gives him a sultry look, bites her lower lip, and says, “So you do it on purpose?” (i.e. to see if a woman is up to your standard) and he says, “Well yeah, but also because I know women like it.” She rolls her eyes again and smiles and licks her lips and says “yeah whatever” in a total I WANT YOU voice.
So they cut to the car ride home, in a taxi, and they’re makin’ out. Later they cut to the outside of the house as he is saying goodbye (he didn’t go in, he is standing at her door) and he’s like, “Hey, it was fun, maybe we can do it again.” And she says, “You have my number, use it.”
In the post date interview he says, “Once I saw that the girl was bangin’, I knew, I knew, I couldn’t be nice if I was going to get in with her, and yeah it worked.” She says, “Yeah, he was a little rude, but I kinda like it when guys don’t flatter me, I’ll definitely go on a second date if he calls, but he needs to know the games will continue.”
All I could say was, “Sh**… Sh**!!! … Michael is right, oh man, dude is so friggin right.” I said it out loud, only one in the room, it hit me that deeply. I realized how well it worked.
You said that even the “Paris Hilton” types try to act better than others but they have some insecurity issues of their own. And this guy played it perfect, he made her question whether she was all that cool or skinny or beautiful and it put the pressure on her to impress him.
She was the one trying to get his approval as the night went on, she didn’t feel like she was a princess the way she would have around 99%PRCTG% of other guys. And right when she couldn’t take it, or maybe she was just playing, it doesn’t matter, he gave her a little self-esteem boost to let her know that she has passed some of his tests and is showing potential in meeting his standards.
So, in parting, much props to you man, you know what you’re talkin’ bout. And some curiosities were sparked from our phone conversation as it relates to being a “smart aleck”:
You told me that the key is to determine if a girl is (culturally) “beautiful” (like a 9 or a 10) or not, because the gorgeous ones need to see you are superior in order for them to feel the boost, but the cute ones who are like 6, 7 and 8s on the 10 scale you can actually compliment them some (not their body) and smile a little and be more charming because they will appreciate the attention of a sincere guy.
So onto the questions:
1)Does the jerk approach only work with girls that are in the upper range, like the 9s and 10s? I mean, what if a girl is real conservative, or a small-town country girl, you know good values and stuff, maybe never had sex or like only with one guy that she dated for 6 years, maybe never dated anyone seriously, but she’s also real hot, won’t she have more respect for herself and be offended by the jerk approach?
2)Likewise, say a girl has been cheated on a bunch and dated about 10 jerks in her life. When she decides to “settle down,” because she hears her biological clock ticking, won’t she have learned that the jerks don’t change and end up going for maybe a little bit older, overweight, financially secure guy that she will refer to as “her sweetie, who is so good to her,” or something to that effect?
3)My opinion is that a two-pronged approach works best. Be the more intense busting type with women who know they’re “commodities”, and be a teasing charmer (like you were in the bookstore with the two women) with the girls who are a little more level-headed, what do you say?
I appreciate you making it through this long email.
***MY REPLY***
First of all, thanks for the awesome props on my material and on the coaching you received over the phone (http://thedatingwizard.com/consultations.htm) And my congrats to you, for putting in the mental work and using the coaching to MAKE THE MENTAL JUMP TO HYPERSPACE. This is a MASSIVE step. Suddenly you see the whole world of women completely differently. It’s going to hit you again and again in many more situations with women, each time it will be like a psychological tidal wave, and each time it will hit a DEEPER realization.
Your letter is especially worth noting because the girl was a genuine Electra-like “hot one” and that he was an average looking dude.
And what did he do to ATTRACT this girl?
1.He “was a &*&^>>MY ANSWER<<<
Ahhhh yes, very very often, AFTER SHE HAS been with ten thousand guys and run the party circuit to the ground and she is no longer a prime commodity.
(okay I’m exaggerating a bit for comedy effect here, but I want to make a point) and she has been SUPPOSEDLY “hurt and dumped” and the jerks would never have her, she “gets smart” (she was “smart” ALL ALONG, in fact that’s why she only “got smart” when her looks were fading and her biological clock started ticking), and she goes for the “nicer guy” that you described because that is what she NEEDS to settle down, because the other jerky fun guys would NEVER settle down with her, especially because these guys sense the FULL EXTENT OF THE TRUTH about her since THEY WERE THE TYPES OF GUYS she was with.
So of course these guys can’t be fooled and aren’t about to give SECURITY and RESPECT and COMMITMENT to a girl like that.
So these women have to find a “nice” naive guy to take advantage of, and who will act SO HAPPY to be with her. Almost makes you puke, huh? Yeah, me too. Or it used to, to be accurate.
This is why it’s SO IMPORTANT TO HAVE THE SKILLS, even if you are NOT a player.
It’s like being in shape, you don’t have to be in shape because you are planning on some emergency. Being in shape just helps you do everything better.
Similarly, having the skills with women will make your interactions with all women better if you use your skills for “good”, it will also help you avoid being taken for a ride by the wrong women.
It helps you RECOGNIZE the difference between a good girl and a girl who is PRETENDING to be one.
And if you would like to make that GIANT leap into a whole new DIMENSION of success with women and dating, then you owe it to yourself to take action NOW and get the most ADVANCED resource on the PLANET at your fingertips with my:
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And if you haven’t yet downloaded my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, then do that IMMEDIATELY.
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If you don’t take action, and remain without the skills, there will be plenty of folks happy to KEEP YOU IN THAT SITUATION, because it makes them feel good to have someone they can feel superior toward. So you have to ask yourself what YOU want, not what they want.
It’s up to you to change your life.
Till next time,
Michael
The Dating Wizard