Attraction is an EMOTION.
It’s the result of many different emotions actually. But for now, let’s just realize that it is an EMOTION. An emotion that a woman wants more of.
But in order to GIVE women this emotion, YOU have to be feeling certain emotions yourself.
There are many, but let’s get to the basics, right now.
The first emotion that’s uber important is feeling self-worth and the second emotion is not feeling needy. This is different from being the guy who says in a rip-roaring voice, “I don’t need women, I don’t give a DAMN what those b****** say” etc etc. That’s just a negative attitude.
I’m talking about not being needy in a POSITIVE way.
Now, am I saying you can’t get any results with low self esteem? No, but you will be faking, and if you NEED to, fine, that might help you get some results which will help you get some self-esteem and confidence. But you really want to be working on this area as much as possible, it will make a huge difference to your success and also attract you to BETTER quality women. Usually, low self-esteem guys end up with low-self esteem women.
When a guy feels that his life has meaning, and that there are important things going on in it, he tends to be less needy for the approval of a woman. He doesn’t tend to go on for years pining for a woman.
But the thing is, it’s not exactly easy for him to get out of the situation since he has been brainwashed to believe that in fact he is doing the RIGHT THING by pining.
If you ever find yourself in a situation where you are feeling neediness for long periods of time, especially for one PARTICULAR woman, chances are it’s not really that you need that particular woman to get rid of that neediness.
You just need to get a life. Often, it’s the meaningful life you had before you got all caught up in this craziness that wiped out all the other things you used to do.
And if you didn’t have a life beforehand, then it’s even EASIER to get sucked into the fiction of believing your life is all about some chick, who doesn’t even feel the same way about you.
But reverse rationalization kicks in, and what happens is that because you’ve spent so long FOCUSING ON THE FICTION (but you don’t realize it’s fiction at the time) OF HOW “BAD” it is without some particular woman, you start to believe your own fiction.
You are what you think and do, as I often say and truly believe with every fiber of my soul.
And added to this, the very energy and time spent on all this “mourning” deprives you of energy and time that could have been spent on doing things in your REAL LIFE, and which would actually give you back your self-esteem and help you realize what a negative fiction you’ve been brainwashing yourself with.
So it’s a pretty powerful negative cycle that needs to be STOPPED. But it can be hard for a guy, because the negative emotional momentum seems so real, even though it’s a trick on your mind. You don’t realize that the secret and the emotional freedom is just a step away.
Kind of like this scene in the movie “V for Vendetta” where the girl thinks she’s imprisoned, when really she could walk out anytime, but she THINKS she’s in a REAL prison, so since her mind believes it, it’s as if she IS in prison and she feels all the accompanying emotions. And she IS trapped, because she FEELS trapped, FEELS helpless.
So you gotta have faith in this stuff I teach, and that there IS a better emotional reality outside your door, or otherwise you are trapping yourself in a FAKE NEGATIVE reality.
And really, that negative belief IS a FAKE reality, because all that “love” that a guy feels for some girl that hasn’t even done anything to deserve it, well that guy actually thinks she IS special, largely BECAUSE OF THE VERY FACT that HE HAS SPENT SO MUCH TIME THINKING ABOUT HER!
Circular logic, makes no sense, but the mind is not always logical.
Emotions are more powerful than logic.
So anyway, it makes him think that the chick is “special”, but how special can she be if she really doesn’t even like him?
See, the guy doesn’t even think HE has any say in the matter of his own emotions, he has given over so much of his own emotional power to some woman who has done nothing to earn it.
He doesn’t even realize he HAS a say over his own emotional destiny.
If he did, it would be the first step towards changing his external reality with women as well.
You gotta take a leap of faith in order to get to the GOOD REALITY.
And that’s a big step, but a super important one.
I always talk about the fact that attracting a woman is about one thing – the EMOTIONS you are giving her.
But the first step to achieving THAT is giving YOURSELF the great emotions.
And how do you feel better and better about yourself? BY GROWING AS A PERSON. There are infinite ways to grow as a person, but they are all great. They all improve your own self-esteem and emotional state.
To me, one of the greatest ways to grow as a person is to learn to GIVE YOURSELF great emotions without the use of drugs, and to learn to give OTHERS great emotions as well. Having a life that is rich with interesting activities and/or people and giving, as well as taking, (nothing wrong with taking as well, it’s when it’s only about taking that you get into problems) it all feels GREAT and does wonders for you. Or having a job that you like is great too, because you spend lots of time on that.
By learning things, skills, doing new things, meeting new people, and to me the BIGGEST form of growing is growing EMOTIONALLY in your ability to experience both great emotions naturally and internally and also to GIVE great emotions to others.
All this stuff is really rudimentary for your inner game. Think of it as super beginner level stuff. Too many guys have no emotional good stuff in their life and are looking to a woman or to women in general to fill up a vacuum in their emotions, but it won’t cure the problem.
Now, once you got that handled, THEN it’s time to get your “game” up to new levels.
But never forget that without that stuff, it’s going to be very difficult to give women awesome emotions, because when you are in a crappy state, it’s hard to NOT feel needy, it’s hard to feel emotional ABUNDANCE, it’s hard to feel that upbeat sexual vibe, etc.
So ultimately, it’s interesting, because in order to “get” a woman, what you are really doing is getting a lot of things for yourSELF first. You are improving yourSELF. ESPECIALLY in the area of CREATING AWESOME EMOTIONS.
Because EMOTIONS are the CURRENCY of attraction.
VALUE is only value if it FEELS good.
So the more awesome emotions you can give a woman, the better. Which means that the less needy you are, to mention just one characteristic, the more you are giving her, because your neediness would only feel like a DRAIN on her good emotions.
There’s nothing wrong with being KIND! In FACT, finding AWESOME AND NEW AND CREATIVE WAYS of showing your AFFECTION for her, that are customized for HER is CRUCIAL, but, and this is the HUUUUUUUUUUUGE BUT, the PROBLEM problem is that the EXTREME kindness that “nice guys” typically show is actually the “nice guy” neediness.
“Nice guys” ONLY focus on this stuff, and because the “nice guy” himself feels like he has nothing else to offer, and it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, because he has become so needy he really comes across as inferior. And he DROWNS her in this stuff, so it loses all its meaning and all of its emotional impact. It becomes boring and pathetic.
The guy feels so needy for her, and he doesn’t realize that this neediness is an artificial creation that has grown to a reality in his own mind, fostered by all the wrong information we get on what is natural and what is not.
We THINK neediness is natural, but it’s not. There is an easy cure for it – it’s called getting self-esteem from something else that is healthier. Such as healthier beliefs.
Onward: Attraction is ALL about and ONLY about the emotions that you are giving her.
So we already know that your self-esteem and non-neediness is something that not only gives YOU good emotions but also makes HER feel good too, and amplifies her attraction to you.
What else?
TONS of things.
Besides the obvious things you can do to improve “exterior” type stuff like appearance like being fit and living a healthy lifestyle, the way you use your VOICE can be used to create emotion.
Your sense of HUMOR creates emotion. Especially if used in a way that not only makes her laugh but also makes her feel SECURE because of the supreme vibes of security that emanate from your sense of humor.
Similarly, your CONFIDENCE, your LEADERSHIP, your SEXUAL VIBES, and even your ability to interact well with PEOPLE in general.
And once a woman is INTERESTED in you, then YES, absolutely, the way you show KINDNESS is something that is highly emotionally RELEVANT. THIS is when doing something “romantic” matters, especially if done in a way that is ORIGINAL and combines OTHER emotions like mystery, intrigue, sexuality, in a creative and compelling way.
And yes, for most sane women, BEING A GOOD PERSON counts, but you have to rethink what a “GOOD PERSON” means, because being a needy guy who will be her doormat because you “love her so much” is actually NOT being a good person. I’m not saying it’s being a BAD person, but it’s being an emotionally weak and unbalanced and emotionally DEFICIENT person.
Here’s another thing about attraction.
Not all girls are the same!
YES, certain things are UNIVERSAL. But not EVERYTHING.
So a party animal girl will not value all the same things as another girl.
Different types of girls will also value different types of humor, different types of lifestyles, different hobbies, and passions.
So you have to pay attention to the woman that you are interacting with.
And if you would like to learn how to APPLY all this in REAL LIFE, from exactly how to make the first approach ANYWHERE you find a woman, to HOW to develop that specific style of humor that women can’t help but feel is SEXY, to how to dress for attraction, to how to bridge to getting physical, to how to build a MEANINGFUL connection with a woman, to TONS more on how to make women INSTANTLY feel that INTOXICATING emotion called ATTRACTION for you, then you owe it yourself to get the most advanced program on this topic:
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I could have released DOZENS of products simply on the quality info in the newsletters ALONE.
But even THAT was not high enough for my standards.
Years ago, I brought this field light years ahead and DESTROYED the MYTHS popularized by pick up artists that all women are the same, and the myth that all women are untrustworthy, and the myth that “memorized routines are the ONLY way to go” and that breakups are a natural process where all relationships must go ultimately. I was challenged by all the “experts”. Now, it’s been proven that I’m right.
You don’t need routines. You can meet quality women, but you have to be a quality guy. Breakups are only natural when the two people in the relationship aren’t both taking on the attitude of seeking greater value IN the person they are WITH.
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